I’m reading the book “downpour” , by James Macdonald. It’s a great book. I’ve been reminded that following God only ever makes sense when done wholeheartedly. I never consciously choose comfort or apathy…it just seems to be the natural current of life. I really do want God’s best and to offer him my best, but I have to be reminded often. I have recently begun to feel very new feelings and to make brand new associations as a result of the eight week old little boy that has captured my heart and attention. People have often told me that parenthood helped them understand God better than anything else in life. Well…it’s true! I’m in awe of what God has done. I would liken it to seeing TV in HD. You had no idea what you were missing, but you’ll never be satisfied again with the old blurry picture. The other day I was trying to get Terrell(my son) to look me in the eye. I had him about six inches from my face and was saying all of the right baby type stuff in a perfectly silly voice. He would look at me for a bit then turn his head to stare at the flowers on the couch. Over and over again I tried to get his attention. I was thinking, “Why are you staring at the stupid couch…I’m your father and I’m trying to bond with you…” It helped me realize that God must be supremely frustrated at times with my obsession with the foolish and mundane. God is offering me perfect love, but I’m often content with faded flowers. Thank you God for your patience and persistence. I am looking at you now…you are perfect and beautiful and captivating…you are my father and I am your boy
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